Happy Birthday, Love Ma Ma Ma Ma

I was reading this blog from a photographer named Tamara Lackey, and she wrote about her recent adoption of a little girl from Guatemala. It was a long process, and this is a quote from her soon after she "received" her little girl. "You know that feeling, after you finish an event of some great physical endurance - whatever that means to you, racing a 5K, crossing the finish line of a marathon, or crossing the expanse of the Sahara Desert – and immediately afterwards, you know you’ll be having that whole flood of realization, of accomplishment, of specific, separate feelings. But at that moment, right at the you-are-done finish, you are simply tired ... and just a bit overcome? "

It was at this exact time, one exact year ago, that I remember sitting in my hospital bed thinking that I was in the 26th mile of my marathon. I was THRILLED to be in labor, but I was beginning to have this "flood of realization" that my life was about to change.

It was not easy to "grow" little Kohen in my tummy. I complained daily to my best friend, my mom, and poor, poor Kyle. We cleaned up more vomit than one should have to, and we have more hiliarious (even though not hilarious at the time) episodes of exploding vomit in the cars we drive. I couldn't wait to give birth. There was no way it would be worse than the 39 weeks and 6 days of pregnancy I endured. And then it happened. My water broke at 3am, in our bed (don't worry. We had plastic cover over our mattress), and the real fun followed. I had an epidural later in the evening, and of course, it wore off. I felt the whole darn delivery, and at 11:30 pm, on Saturday, March 22, 2008, the doctor asked me if I "wanted to feel my baby's head?" I was exhausted and in complete misery. I don't even remember saying yes, but I did. They (the stupid nurse, Kyle and the DOCTOR!), grabbed my hand and placed it on Kohen's head.

Every single day, I kiss that sweet head of his, and I remember that moment. I am so unbelievable proud of that "head" and my sweet boy. I'm so thrilled to be a mom, and in 365 days, I have become a mother. Some days, I want to congratulate myself for being the best mom I know. Other days, I want to congratulate myself for surviving motherhood. I have never been so happy and when I see Kohen after being away for a few hours, my knees buckle-every single time!

So, our sweet baby is already a year old. I swear that I just had him a few days ago. I swear that we just walked in the door to show Kohen his house for the first time. Where oh where did the time go?

My Sweet Son,

We wish you the best birthday and many, many more. May ALL of your dreams come true, and may God grant you the strength and courage to always do the right thing. May you always take the long way to get to your end, and may you learn from the mistakes you make on your journey.

We love you with all the love God gave us.

Ma Ma Ma